Unwritten rules and social norms

I have decided to write about something that I've been thinking about allot lately. Have you ever questioned any of the unwritten rules and social norms in our society?

What I mean by unwritten rules are the social standards we follow that are not written in any place., but we’ve all learned them growing up. For example; "do not talk with food in the mouth", "respect those who are older than you" or "don’t paint your neighbor’s house just because you don’t like the colour".  I must say that I understand and agree with the last one.I wouldn’t like if someone just came and painted my house unnoticed.

 A few of these unwritten rules are created for a reason,  simply so we can all live together in a society, and that’s why they’ve become social norms.

These unwritten rules we’ve all learned, and they are created by ourselves. But, I must quite frankly say that many of these rules make me wonder, and I disagree very much with some of them. I think that many of these rules have created norms that do not do us much good.

It’s for example common to ask people how they are doing when you meet them. It seems like that is has become a "habit" to ask without remembering what these words really mean, and without really caring about this person at all. Another unwritten rule we have, especially here in Norway is that we're not outgoing when it comes to our feelings. So if anyone asks how we are doing, we respond "everything is great", although everything is everything else but great.

If anyone actually says that they’re not doing well, I've often seen that people are a little surprised, they know hardly what to say. It is expected that when you ask someone “how are you” they normally respond “I’m great” . Personally, I think this is weird, and I can't understand why we've created these norms like these.

Why can’t we be honest about feelings? I think that kids are so awesome. They cry when they are sad, they roar when they are angry, and they laugh and show joy when they are happy. Older people usually show emotions when they are happy, and have the habit of taking on a mask and keep it to themselves that they don't have it good. I do not judge all in the same way, many are good to show emotions and feel that it is natural, but I speak now on a general basis.

Another unwritten rule that I've never liked is that you should show older people respect. Why should we? Is it because the older you get the wiser you get so we have to respect those who are older? Age is just a number, I’ve seen many older people who behave as if they were significantly younger and vise versa. I do not think that all those who are older than you deserve your respect. My personal opinion is that all people should be treated equally, all deserve to be respected, both young as old. It seems that only the ones who are older than you should be respected.

I hope you don't misunderstand my message. It seems there are a lot of unwritten rules that are quite useful, but it seems too many can prevent us from being who we are or swallow things we don't want to swallow just because of that there’s an unwritten rule that exists in the community ,possibly created several centuries back. Society has changed since many of these rules were created, I think that we have to stop and change these rules from preventing us from being who we are.  And act in the way that feels natural for us, in sted of acting the way we are expected to act because of certain rules. When we keep on following the unwritten rues in certain situations that goes against what we really feel inside, we loose our personal strength and energy, because we are doing and act, something that is not real and goes against what we feel. Always act the way YOU feel. We are all different, so we should all act the way WE feel, instead of following norms and unwritten rules that are supposed to be followed by everyone in a society, even though we are all different. Certain rules does not fit with everyone, because we are not the same. Be who you truly are, not only will you feel better, but it will show, and that’s when people will truly admire you, because you speak your own thruth.

Were you provoked by this or do you perhaps agree? I am very curious about how YOU feel about this.

Love,
Amanda